Monday, December 05, 2005

Oh, So This is How the Liberal Media Gets Its Marching Orders

So, I got an email this weekend from Jonathan Edwards. I've now read through it a couple of times and I can't decide if it's just brilliant spam or a genuine email from someone who thinks I have a lot more ambition than I actually do. In the "it's spam" column: It's about religion from a dude named Jonathan Edwards. It was unsolicited. It's titled "for watchers of the Religious Right." In the "it's not spam" column: I actually do like to observe the religious right. It contains the line "Do what thou wilt," and we all know how I love me some off-handed Crowley references. And it didn't come with any weird attachments or anything. Anyway, I keep hearing how the Liberal Media marches lock-step on stuff and I always wondered how it was that the liberal media got its marching orders, but now I know: you just start receiving email from people you don't know full of information you didn't know you needed. I'll spare you the email, but it is, in general, concerned with the fact that folks who believe in a pretribulation Rapture are deliberately misreading the Bible in order to advance their own agenda. For those of you who read the words "pretribulation Rapture" and have no idea what they mean, rest assured they are like little flashing red lights warning you that you're about to encounter some boring ass shit having to do with people who take John the Revelator* a little too literally. So, obviously, I could not give a shit about whether the Rapture will happen pretribulation or post-tribulation, because I have cast my lot with the folks who will not be taken up at any time, should such taking up actually occur. But I think it's important to point out that interpreting the Bible differently from how you would is not really the same as "deliberately misreading the Bible in order to advance their own agenda." People can be sincere in their beliefs and sincerely believe differently than you. No one takes the whole Bible literally. Nobody. You may think you do, but ask yourself this: When was the last time you stoned anyone? The last time you sacrificed a cow? You don't because, based on your interpretation of the Bible--how much emphasis you put on the importance of certain parts, what things you think are no longer required based on early Christian understanding of the importance of Jesus, etc.--you don't think those things are necessary any more. You have made a judgment about how important those things are. You don't believe that the Bible literally means you have to do those things; you have interpreted the Bible to mean you don't. Which is fine. Just don't come to me pissing and moaning because someone else's interpretation doesn't match up with yours. *Which is a great song, as well as a freaky dude.


Blogger Steve Pick said...

Genius, B! Sheer genius. Nobody believes every word of the Bible literally. I never thought of that.

By the way, Depeche Mode have completely rewritten "John the Revelator" and are acting as though it's a brand new song. It's pretty cool, though.

12/05/2005 01:21:00 PM  
Blogger Kat Coble said...

Genius, B! Sheer genius. Nobody believes every word of the Bible literally.

Yes, some of us do.

12/05/2005 01:58:00 PM  
Anonymous brittney said...

Do you hate shrimp, Katherine? Because God hates shrimp.

12/05/2005 02:01:00 PM  
Blogger Kat Coble said...

In the Old Testament, yes.

In the Book of Acts, God revised His position on Kashrut.

12/05/2005 03:28:00 PM  
Blogger Exador said...

So Katherine, I guess it gets pretty cold out in the shed during those not-so-fresh times?

Or do you have some other way of keeping remote from the menfolk?

12/05/2005 03:37:00 PM  
Blogger harvestbird said...

I like to imagine that, somewhere in the many sub-cultures of your nation, a group of Stoners for Jesus are peering over their joint smoke into th e bible, only to exclaim, "Dude! It's a transitive verb!"

12/05/2005 03:52:00 PM  
Blogger grandefille said...

Every time I hear about The Rapture and all that, I get tickled recalling my high-school Sunday School teacher remarking that ol' John had gotten into some good peyote to reach his divine revelations. He wasn't dismissing them, and he wasn't disputing them; he just said that literal interpretation of all those numbers and symbols and beasts wasn't the best way to understand the book.

Same teacher also referred to the Bible as "divinely inspired and humanly edited." (Which may have inspired my career choice, now that I think about it.)

12/07/2005 12:20:00 AM  

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