Friday, December 23, 2005
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Is Mrs. Wigglebottom Better Than You?
- Mrs. Wigglebottom, Community Blogger
- Spending Time with the Conservative Boys
- I (Heart) TV on the Fritz
- The Wiccan Witch of the West
- Has Someone Kidnapped the Butcher?
- "Ain't good looking, but you know I ain't shy"
- The Thrill is Gone
- The Right Wing Just Does Shit Differently
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
8 Comments:
with his crazy wife and her boyfriend
WTF?
Short version: My idiot brother married an insane crazy woman after my parents were like "We're not having another bastard grandchild." My brother lacks ambition, but has a low tolerance for inconvenience.
When she became inconveniently crazy, he sent her back to her people in North Carolina and he moved down to Georgia to be near his oldest son and ex-girlfriend.
They've never bothered to get divorced--because getting divorced requires making a plan ("We're getting divorced" for instance) and then carrying it out (by say, actually doing it) and neither one of those things are either of their strong suits.
But she's got some boyfriend who doesn't care (and probably is glad to have a good excuse not to marry her) and my brother likes him just fine and so he's going there for Christmas to make things easy on the kid.
Damn! and I thought my husband's family was odd. My brother-in-law divorced his skank wife because he's being sued by a minimum of 3 parties, and he's filed bankruptcy after putting everything in her name. Oh, to top that, they still come to family functions together. Really puts the FUN into dis functional.
Oh my. But at least you got out of the cleaning.
Your brother could get a job writing for "My Name Is Earl".
Dammit, Aunt B. I came to Chris Wage's party and you left two hours ago. Fuckin' lame.
Fritz, I had people to go, places to see. And now I feel like a total chump.
I won't hold it against you. I did think the Comment Tator was you at first because she hugged me.
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