Thursday, February 16, 2006
About Me
- Name: Aunt B
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Like Donnell Alexander says, "It's about completing the task of living with enough spontaneity to splurge some of it on bystanders, to share with others working through their own travails a little of your bonus life." But, it's mostly the kind of place that folks looking for "girls and cars" stumble across by accident.
I'VE MOVED. COME CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT STUFF HERE.
WHERE TO DIRECT YOUR HATE MAIL AND LOVE LETTERS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BEER
THINGS I SAID RECENTLY
- Walk, Don't Run
- Go Help W.!
- I Suck
- Ferocious Pit Bull Kills Everyone at the Westminster
- Assorted Stuff
- A Napkin Cooter
- Lunch with Fritz
- It Only Hurts for a While
- Random Stuff by Men
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Aunt B.--Your kind host.The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.
The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.
Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.
Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.
The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"
The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.
The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.
Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.
Her Lover--Her Husband.
The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.
JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.
Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!
The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.
The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.
The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.
12 Comments:
I missed the point of the ad as well. However, (and PETA does this all the time) they buried an important message with overkill. The ad wasn't clear what it was saying. Had I not known it was a PETA ad, I really would have thought they were lampooning "Girls Gone Wild" videos, which really do need serious lampooning. PETA makes it easy for people to hate them. I'm a carnivor, so I don't feel it is unethical to eat meat. However, the food industry consolidation has caused horrible mistreatment to farm animals, in the name of increased profits. I weaned my children off milk when they were 2. Not much reason for people to drink it once they have absorbed momma's vitamins and immunizations. I feel better about my decision knowing that commercial dairies routinely mistreat cows. Don't even get me started on veal....
That was the most degrading thing I think I've seen in awhile.
I don't know what message I was supposed to get (like you and mack, I'm confused), but the message I got was
female breasts=udders
ergo
females=cattle
But clearly with a hint of "Aren't boobs gross," right? I think that's what you, Mack, are getting at with the "Girls Gone Wild" lampoon feel.
As for whether to drink milk or not, a lot of cultures eat and drink things they don't "need" to eat or drink. Milk and milk products are just one of our weird things.
Between that and their lesbian make out session in times square, I dig their ads. Still think they're a sham but i'll watch their ads
-SayUncle
But what does it mean? What is PETA trying to tell me? That cows need the opportunity for bulls to check out their udders?
Yep, Katherine nailed the syllogism in play. Sort of like their "dumb animal" campaign a couple of years ago. (Speaking of unneccessary misogyny...) I get the whole "human as a type of animal" dealio that they push, but I would love it if they quit ALWAYS using fembots as the representative "animal." For one thing, all it does is piss off people who might otherwise have some sympathy for their position.
At one point, I lived on a farm and traded my labor for a break on rent.
The family who actually ran the farm for its rich owner kept a dairy cow. I had to learn to milk it so I could cover all the chores in case the family went away for a few days. Why else have an assistant?
Most of us have seen milking depicted in many forms in television, movies and cartoons. It does little to prepare the city or suburb slicker for the smell of the barn or the experience of sitting down beside an enormous-appearing hairy beast, with an empty bucket and instructions to fill it with warm, fresh milk.
I try not to let anything faze me, but as I sat there on my little stool, actually another bucket, upturned, I realized I was about to grab the nipples of an extremely large creature I had barely met.
Prior to this, the only mammaries I had ever touched had required a certain amount of courtship. Shouldn't I kiss her a couple of times, or something? This just seemed so abrupt, so personal. Getting slapped is nothing compared to getting brushed off with a hard hoof with, dare I say it, some beef behind it.
The cow had no such qualms. She was used to the routine. If she felt fractious she would simply step into the bucket with a manure-covered hoof or swat me alongside the face with her encrusted tail. She didn't care if I ever called, and she preferred hay and grain to chocolate and flowers.
We ended up seeing each other for a little over a year.
Aunt B, I didn't get the "boobs are gross message." And I really don't think that was the intent, though I am at a loss to explain the purpose of the ad. Unless, the message was that we have come to worship these lush, full, and pleasantly round parts of female's bodies, but have forgotten the fact that they have a purpose. Now I'm confused even more...sigh.
But clearly with a hint of "Aren't boobs gross," right?
If by "hint" you mean "sledgehammer blow to the groin" then yes.
My problem with PETA is that I really think the whole animal rights thing is just an excuse for people to get to do stupid shit.
Let's walk around the meat section of Kroger naked.
Let's throw red paint on a fur wearing model.
Let's hand out to small children bloody comic books where gored-up animal are butchered by knives.
It seems at times that PETA is nothing more than a medium for some people to indulge in the thrill, often malicious, of intentionally shocking.
On a slightly related note.... who was the first person that said "See that large animal over there? I'm going to go squeeze it and drink what comes out. Maybe even let my kid drink some."?
'But what does it mean? What is PETA trying to tell me? '
Who cares?
-SayUncle
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