Indisputable Evidence
I was hoping that it wouldn't come to this, but I see now that I'm going to have to scientifically* prove that II is a better album that Physical Graffiti--by using math**.
1. Number of songs:
II has 9. (+9)
PG has 15. (+15)
2. Number of songs that blatantly rip off awesome blues songs and artists that I love:
II has "Whole Lotta Love"--originally Willie Dixon's "You Need Love"
"The Lemon Song"--borrows from Howlin' Wolf and Robert Johnson
"Moby Dick"--Sleepy John Estes***
"Bring it on home"--Willie Dixon (+4)
PG has "Custard Pie"--Sleepy John Estes
"In My Time of Dying"--Blind Willie Johnson (+2)
3. Songs with lyrics that make Dungeons & Dragons players or Lord of the Rings fans wet:
II has "It's to a castle I will take you" and "How years ago in days of old, when magic filled the air. It was in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair. But Gollum and the evil one crept up, and slipped away with her." So, that's "castle," "magic," "Mordor," and "Gollum" (-4).
PG has "Converse the planet, when heaven send me, I saw the kings who rule them all" and "Is the new world rising, from the shambles of the old?" and "From the door comes Satan's daughter" and "There's an angel on my shoulder. In my hand a sword of gold" and "I am a traveler of both time and space" and "sit with elders of a gentle race" which gives us "conversing with planets," "heaven sending people places," "kings," "new worlds," "Satan's daughter," "angels," "swords," "time traveler," "space traveler," and "sitting with elders of a gentle race" (which really ought to count for two, but I'll have mercy on this crappy album) adding up to (-10)
4. Best Led Zeppelin song ever:
II has "Whole Lotta Love" (+1)
PG does not (0)
5. Best opening to an album:
II has the ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump etc. (+1)
PG does not (0)
I won't belabor the point. Obviously, by a score of 11 to 7, II is a better album than Physical Graffiti. You can't argue with math.
* Well, you know, scientific in the same sense that Intelligent Design is scientific.
**America, if numbers are good enough to prove that Bill Bennett is an idiot, numbers are good enough to prove that I'm right about this.
***The more I think about this, the less comfortable I am with it as a claim, so maybe it's 10 to 7, but still a substantial lead.
posted by Aunt B at 9/30/2005 07:45:00 PM
9 Comments:
Oh. My. God. First, I am completely convinced by your awesome and inarguable math skills. And also, if you had told me this in person over a bottle of whiskey I would probably have asked you to marry me. :)
Physical Graffiti has the sublime song I can't spell with the Welsh name.
That's my trump card
Well, Lucky, we all know my track record for doing ill-advised things when I'm drunk, so I'd have said yes.
Just when the Lord closes off the Libertarian Orgy, He opens up the possibility of a drunken wedding between utter strangers with nothing more in common than good taste in music. Mysterious ways indeed.
Kat, holy shit, I totally should have counted Bron-Yr-Aur in among the things that made Tolkien fans happy.
I think that makes the score 10 to 6 now.
I guess the fact that I'm both a D&D player and a LOTR fan kinda lets me out of the equation, because I'd reverse polarity on all your numbers as far as that's concerned.
First off, comparing double albums to regular playing albums is a bit like apples and oranges. The difficulties of song order are compounded, and a band takes risks in submitting a higher priced product to the public. Grafitti is unquestionably the band's greatest acheivement, and a more accurate comparison would be to put it against Blonde on Blonde, Exile on Main Street, or The White Album.
Graffiti also goes out on a limb by combining Middle Eastern rhythms with the band's trademark blues/folk/ROCK sound. Page is finally comfortable as a producer, and the band is more cohesive and more comfortable in creating original material. Thus there are fewer covers.
II is a great album, and I have nothing negative to say about it, but it was simply practice for the day when Zeppelin would reach its full potential.
However, I must say that I am impressed with your mathematical skills as applied to musical acheivement. I only hope, dear Auntee, that it helps you silence the voice of reason that is there yelling at you through the headphones in the more quiet moments of "Ramble On".
That's the voice of reason?! I thought I was going crazy.
My voice of reason sounds a bit like Mel Tillis.
What Rex said.
Fucking brilliant. This should be a weekly feature on TCP.
For the record, will you weigh in on this controversy? I've been having this argument for over a year now. The biggest, meanest bull you can find versus the biggest, meanest bear you can find. Death match in a ring. What do you think?
Post a Comment
<< Home