Just a Little Freaked Out

Yeah, so the Butcher's in Illinois as is the Professor, so I'm fresh out of people who have to indulge my freaked-out-ness. So, it's you, America, that have to put up with me until I calm down. We just went outside, Mrs. Wigglebottom and I, and I think there was someone out there, up the hill. The shadows were not right and there was some weird noise, like I don't know what, and the dog wouldn't pee, but instead just stood by the mailboxes and looked up the hill, with her tail straight out behind her. Now, we're back in the house, locked up tightly, but the dog is right by my feet, growling. Seriously, why the fuck isn't there some service you can call where big, strong, intimidating men come over, look around, make sure there aren't any killer hobos in your back yard, sit on the couch until they hear you snoring upstairs, and then leave you to your sleep, assured there's nothing out there in the dark, waiting to see who's all alone? I know it's not anything, but fucking-a, I am spooked. Edited to add: It's something. I heard someone going through the garbage cans a second ago and then my neighbors went outside and now it's quiet. Still, I think the intimidating men who indulge overactive imaginations is a money-making idea. I'm ready to hand over cash right now to someone who'll just sit on the couch with a gun. Edited again to add: I'm pretty sure it's just some animal. That would explain the accompanying weird noises. I'm going to go with the animal theory, because I have to go to bed soon, and I don't have time to start my intimidating man business tonight before that.