Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Of Course There's No Monster in the Butcher's Closet
Friday, July 29, 2005
Every Girl Needs a Kick-Ass Theme Song
Rumors of the Recalcitrant Brother
Thursday, July 28, 2005
The Bell Witch
George Never Lets Me Down
Bush cancelled his trip to the Boy Scouts Jamboree due to bad weather. Meanwhile, more than 300 scouts became sick from bad weather, or from extreme heat, while waiting patiently for Bush to show.
This is Why I Love This Thing
I knew I was, as someone who had long called herself a feminist, supposed to feel like a subject. Like a valuable woman deserving of equal rights and equal pay and equal say. Like a woman who both knows her own worth and believes in it. Empowered. Yes, I knew--had even memorized--the schpiel, I had just failed to internalize it all. Sure, I had gotten the right things into my head, into my philosophy, into my worldview...just not into my selfview. No, though I wanted—desperately wanted—to feel it all down in my guts, the rhetoric had never made it quite that far.--which feels like a kind of truth I immediately recognize but don't know how to articulate for myself made me want to draw Twyla's attention to Summer and Summer's attention to Twyla. So, there it is. You may read each other and say "Wow, I have no idea why Aunt B. thought I'd like this," but I hope you read each other and appreciate in each other what I appreciate, that brave openness to beauty and self-discovery.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
"I Hope When I'm Their Age, I'm Still Nailing my Wife"
What is Wrong with my Boobs?
Well, I Think I'm Funny
Look, I'm not trying to be a chauvinist or anything, but there just aren't very many hilarious girls out there. Face it, comedy might not be your niche. Try being thoughtful instead. There's a real fine line, though, because the girls that are "too cool" never say anything funny. So, I guess, make a few funnies, but just don't push it.Jerry Lewis says:
A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.Now, frankly, I think Morgan is taking the bigger comedic risk here, because he's trying to insult women at the same time that he, himself, is trying to be funny. He runs a great risk, if his humor falls flat, of being seen as a fool. Jerry, on the other hand, is taking little risk for himself at all. He's got nothing to lose by revealing himself to be a jackass. Those of us who love Dean Martin have long suspected it. It is unfortunate, though, because he also speaks for the MDA and his comments could have hurt them. But none of this analysis brings us any closer to understanding whether or not women are actually funny. I think I'm funny and many people who know me in real life spend a great deal of time laughing around me (or maybe at me, hard to say). Can one's sense of humor, her comedic timing, her ability to move audiences be linked to her gender? Or might one's ability to perceive different funny things be linked to one's gender? I'm almost certain it's the latter, not the former, as my observations suggest that only men with very small penises don't find me delightfully humerous.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
The Devil's Rejects
Men, I let you down again
America, Give Me Your Money!
Is the Tiny Cat Emily Dickinson?
Monday, July 25, 2005
Important Things I Learned Today
Come Back Later
Sunday, July 24, 2005
The Parents are Here
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Surprising Things in My Bedroom--Not for Sex
Friday, July 22, 2005
Puff, Puff, Pass
I am Old--The Concert Edition
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Liz Phair and Other Things
Another post about New York City!
The New York Times
The Rise of the Redneck
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Mom & Cats
The Shill is So Cute
Still, if you live in a state where it will make a difference, get typing.
For My Own Sanity, I Have to Stop Reading Salon.com
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Tying Up More Loose Ends
The Tiny Cat
Monday, July 18, 2005
It Starts When You're Always Afraid, the remix
Men are never asked to think about balancing a career and family Men are not constantly being told what their actions mean (when you decide to get married vs stay single, keep your name or change it, have a baby or not, etc etc etc) and how they feel about them. Constantly being told that (from the fucking media, your friends, your family, TV -- whatever!) takes its toll. Men just don't think about the same things we do -- and they are not made to feel bad about not being able to do everything (see domestic porn like Martha Stewart Living, Real Simple, etc). This is harder than I thought -- I'm going to think on it some more. It's all very wishy-washy and I know you're looking for concrete examples. Perhaps for another post: we're also struggling with what it means to be a man -- and right now we don't know. We've done a very poor job shifting from provider to partner and while I want a partner, I also want a man -- not some masculine girl (and I use girl deliberately here).JR has good concrete ways she sees her life being different from Elias's and other men's:
well, i do walk around with a key in between my knuckles in case anyone tries any funny business and i have to jab out their eye. and, when i was in college they outfitted all the girls with whistle key chains, and i remember through a series of events one night when i was waiting for the bus and i didn't have my keys and felt totally vulnerable. and, when down the street in college there were a series of rapes - males raping women, big shock - and i had to walk to the library every night - keys poised. also, there was a man in my neighborhood recently torturing and sexually assaulting women (sometimes during the day), 7 or 8 in total, including one he kidnapped, raped, and beat to a bloody pulp. elias had to walk me to yoga 2 blocks away during those few weeks - he walked home alone, i did not. men don't know when to say when in yoga class. i always get nervous when men are in the class, because they think they can do everything...IT'S NOT COMPETITIVE but they find a way to make it competitive. okay - not all of them, but a lot of them.Here are the ones I came up with right off the top of my head:
I have never been to a bar alone. I've never just thought "I could use a drink" or "god I need to get drunk" and sat down at a bar by myself and started knocking them back. For that matter, I've been to the park alone once in my entire life that I remember. Otherwise, I've always gone with friends or with the dog. I've never been to the park alone in Nashville. I've had car repair become significantly cheaper when I said that I would have to call my "fiancee" and talk to him about it and could they please tell me exactly what was wrong with the car so I could check with him. I can't imagine what it would be like to take my shirt off at the park because I can't imagine my naked body not being sexualized by observers. I've had someone report back to the Butcher about how much my lunch cost, because he (the reporter, not the Butcher) felt I was wasting "the Butcher's" money. I've had men stroke my hair and pinch my nipples and grab my shirt and demand hugs; men who, by far, didn't know me well enough to do that. In high school, there were three girls in my calculus class. We were forced to sit at the front of the class where we could "learn better." What kind of lesson was imparted by leering, I'm not sure. When I'm talking to a man I don't know, I'm often interrupted and not let to finish my thought, though any attempt to cut him off in similar rude fashion is ignored. We've already talked about the man in the bar problem, this belief that women talking alone must be interrupted and refocused on the most insecure man in the room and I've had this happen plenty. I don't see men's friends or even acquaintances making sure that they present themselves correctly to women (ha, or we'd have a lot more men beating the shit out of rapists), but women spend a lot of time policing and critiquing other women's behavior and how they present themselves to men.The Shill makes a similar point:
(Talking about older women criticizing younger women) The older women needed to feel validated about the sacrifices they made and feel safe in knowing that the decisions they made were the right ones. The problem with all of this is that answers are different for everybody. You can't tell somebody what college to go to, what type of job to get, what type of work to do, who and when to marry, when to have a baby, what to do once you have it -- because the answers are different. Experiences, psyches and motivations are different. And these decisions are logical AND emotional. They are sometimes unexpected and scary -- sometimes they might seem daunting but when you're faced with them, the answer is simple. Some women have people to talk to, some make decisions alone. You can say -- the optimal time, biologically, to have children is ages 27-32 but if someone's ready at 25 or 35 -- why is it the business of other women? Why isn't it the business of the woman and her partner? (Sorry to rely so heavily on the children thing -- but it's the easiest and most obvious way these things play out, and it's being rubbed in my face constantly these days.) Ultimately, this is just the shit women do to each other. It doesn't even surprise me anymore. Here's a way we live differently -- the Legal Eagle will never be in a situation where he wonders if he's being taken seriously based on his clothes. I do wear skirts to work on occasion, but I don't wear them to important meetings.That's just a start. This is one of those Jay-Z type remixes, where y'all are welcome to take the stuff and make of it what you will.
It Starts When You're Always Afraid
Warning to All Louisiana Food Lovin' Dog Owners
Three Important Things I Learned this Weekend
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Why I love Big Hairy Bikers and David Banner (the rapper, not the Hulk)
Saturday, July 16, 2005
The Truth about the Man from GM
Friday on the Town
Friday, July 15, 2005
I Wanna Be a Cowboy's Sweetheart
The Lunches Continue!
Things that Need Investigating
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Odds & Ends
The Man from GM Arrives Tonight!
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
- the importance of easy access to the morning after pill, especially for rape victims
- the disconnect between being anti-abortion and pro-abstinence only education
- the fucked-up-ed-ness of the kind of discourse that seems to frame pregnancy as the just punishment for sluts, even though such a framework, seems, at its core to posit children only as a heavy and uniquely unpleasant burden, and how damaging such a framework is to said children as well as women
- the bizarre notion that life begins at conception, even though many a body discards many a fertilized egg without women even being aware of it, as if philosophy can somehow trump physical facts if you shout it loud enough
--and my lunch companion kept saying things like "That's right, but I hadn't heard it articulated like that before.'
Now, I'd like to think that I'm just some articulating genius, but I actually think that this points to a larger problem among feminists--and in larger society--we are too specialized.
Within our own little groups, we are well-versed in all of the issues, but we don't quite know how to hear (or even where to listen) to groups outside of our immediate realm of knowledge.
And yet, things like healthcare affect us all and it's virtually impossible to live one's life in a way that avoids all healthcare professionals, so it becomes increasingly important that women be able to receive the kinds of healthcare they need from people who are tuned into their right to get it.
So, how do we tune each other in? How can an artsy fartsy feminist converse with a healthcare professional passionate about women's health issues?
I think this--careful reading, writing, and considering--is one important way.
But I've also been thinking about why it is that women's healthcare decisions are up for discussion anyway. Part of it is, of course, because we can give birth--between our legs the unfolding of eternity or some such shit--and people tend to talk about miracles, but I think that part of it is also that guy at the bar syndrome.
I think that there's a large segment of the population, both male and female, that cannot wrap their heads around the idea that there are a lot of things that, though they may have an opinion about it, they don't get a say in it. Just because you see that there is a woman struggling with a decision, it doesn't mean that you get to jump in and take over and move her to a place you're more comfortable with.
Everyone ought to have a right to her own autonomy, including her own bodily autonomy. It's weird and disturbing to me that, when it comes to medical decisions, women don't. Everything we do with our bodies is given such preposterous moral weight that our whole society feels an imperative to step in and make our decisions for us. It's very yucky.
In order to be recognized as fully human adults, we have to be able to make decisions that are unpopular. We have to be able to do things you disagree with. We even have to be able to do things your god disagrees with.